Today was neither a good nor bad day, but really kind of both at the same time.
I’ve been having a lot of difficulty sleeping recently. I’ve been waking up for 1 1/2 to 2 hours in the middle of the night almost every night. My wife suggested that I take benadryl if that happens, so I’ve been doing that, but it isn’t a great solution. I’m hoping it’s only temporary.
I only need about six hours of sleep every night. Sometimes, if I get more, my back will start hurting in the morning and I get up even when I don’t necessarily want to, even if I’m still tired and just want to sleep a little more. I’ve been trying to go to bed when my wife goes to bed. She needs more sleep than I do, so I had been going to bed after her. But I then fall into the trap.
Staying up, even if I’m not doing anything more than reading news articles on-line, or playing some stupid game on my phone, allows for me to be alone in my brain, which as I discussed in my entry on running, isn’t a good thing. The other night, I stayed up past my wife going to bed because she was tired and it was too early for me to try to go to sleep. (That, by the way, is the downside. Ideally the best time for me to go to bed is when laying my head on the pillow will allow me to fall asleep almost instantly.) If I had tried to go to sleep then, I would have just been lying there thinking all those thoughts I don’t want to have. So, I stayed up. But it wasn’t any better. I was, again, alone in my head, and despite having Jake and the Neverland Pirates on, it didn’t distract me that much. (I’ll explain my choice of TV shows another day, just not today.) So, I went to bed in not a great mood, and again, woke in the middle of the night.
There is a connection between lack of sleep and depression, although it’s one of those situations where does lack of sleep cause depression, or does depression cause lack of sleep. In either event, I’m trying to sleep better and hopefully, it will help with my depression.