Jealousy

Today, for the first time in a while, was a good day.

I mentioned, a few posts ago that I was jealous of my wife.  I absolutely am, but not in a bad way.  Let me summarize:  My wife is doing something that she’s always wanted to do.  Not only is she doing it, she’s also very good at it.

Why am I jealous?  Here’s the tricky part.

1.  She’s doing something she’s always wanted to do. – I’ve tried my hand at a lot of different things.  I’m sort of a jack-of-all-trades-master-of-none sort of guy.  I’ll do stuff, it’s ok, but nothing that really stirs in me a passion for doing it.  I think that’s what really gets me a lot right now.  She has something, and I’ve just settled into the boring routine of my life.

2. She’s really good at it. – No shit. I could have told her that, but what she does she has a small web presence, and I’ve seen it what people have said about what she does.  She gets such positive comments and feedback.  She’s even admitted to me as much that getting positive comments makes it worth her while. (Maybe not in as many words, but along those lines.)  And that is what I’m totally jealous about.

I don’t want to say I have some need for validation, but deep down, I think everybody wants to be told positive things about themselves.  And sure, it’s almost entirely strangers who provide my wife with the positive comments, but still, we need to know that what we do means something. I don’t work in a profession where I get positive comments very often.  Every now and then, but for the most part people hate lawyers and they let the lawyer know it.  And I don’t get positive comments from my family, and by that I mean my kids.  Most of the time I’ve done something they don’t like, made the wrong food, etc.

I know, in her own little way, my wife has made a positive mark on the world.  I just wish I could do the same.

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