I feel like crap, both physically and mentally.
I have a high pressure job, although that is not entirely accurate. I have a job that at very discrete times is very high pressure. Today was one of those days that it was high pressure. I woke up anxious to start, and then spent 7 hours feeling like crap. I didn’t eat at all until I got home. I didn’t even have any sort of drink other than water until I got home.
I hate my job. That isn’t entirely accurate. I mostly like my job, but there are a few things that make it unbearable. My profession has a large percentage of people who are alcoholics and drug abusers, as well as those that attempt suicide. It’s obviously not the best situation for me. But don’t get me wrong, there are some benefits. I set my own hours, and that’s a really big deal with children and gives me maximum flexibility.
But every now and then I think about having a boring office job. Most people in boring office jobs imagine doing something exciting. I’m the reverse Walter Mitty. I want to do something boring. I want to be a paper pusher. Let me go to work at 9 and end at 5, and not have to work at home. That’s what I would like to do, and I think mentally it would help a lot.