Today was an OK day.
Every now and then, while I enjoy my job, I think that I should have done something else. While my profession is a very high stress profession, but I have different stressors than most others have. I am essentially a private contractor being paid by the state government and new requirements for being paid have driven me completely nuts (as well as others who do what I do). But, there is some part of my job that I truly enjoy and that is working with kids.
The weird thing is that I prefer working with the troubled kids, and it isn’t the majority of the work I do. I like talking with them, and being blunt. While others I know will talk down to them, I will not. Particularly the older kids. I’ll ask them, “What the fuck is going on?” Sometimes I’ll deal with kids who have had others working them and they’ll tell me they like my honesty.
Tonight I had to go to my oldest child’s school open house. Sitting there listening to the teacher made me realize that that is what I should have done with my life. Working with kids is the best part of my job, and I love sharing my knowledge (to the great consternation of my kids). The reason why I didn’t become a teacher is that my parents convinced me that there was no money in it. Maybe I wouldn’t be making the same income that I am right now, not that it’s that great, but at this point I would have health insurance and a pension, two things that don’t come with my current position.
Unfortunately, at this point in my life, going back to school to be able to take a new job really isn’t an option. I can’t start over again. I can’t take that Kirkegaardian leap of faith. And quite frankly, at this point, teaching with the common core requirements and the push to overwhelm the kids, I’d just be annoyed and pissed and stressed about that. But it would be a different stress. I wish to hell I had never listened to my parents.